I am diverging a little, well a lot, to what I normally write on this blog. My goal is to have a positive and inspirational blog. I hope to have guest bloggers in the near future and highlight inspirational stories. I love the story telling skills of other authors and artists. There is so much negative in the world it is nice to have a positive place.  I try to write things that will allow people to know they are loved, uplifted and encouraged..

Today I will take a moment to mention sexual abuse.  A nasty topic but sadly a reality. With education and action maybe we can abolish this in our lifetime.

What I have to say today can apply to any problem you or I may have. This is not meant to be an in depth study and certainly will not provide all the answers and most likely cause more questions.  But that’s okay as well.

The horror and trauma of sexual abuse is that no matter how severe the physical pain, the mental torment is even worse.

This is a tribute to all Victims of all forms of abuse

in the beginning

God created you

no matter where conceived

you are beautiful…

God created you perfect

but the bloody abuser

tried to ruin you

I believe you are beautiful…

blood mixed in night sweats

self harm of depression

broken wounds linger near

I feel you are beautiful…

deep calleth unto deep

the pain the dark

the misery

I perceive you are beautiful…

confused internal pain

I want to dry your tears

bring you back from despair

I trust you are beautiful…

on behalf of those

who committed heinous actions

I apologize

for all wounds inflicted

punishment within

I validate you as a human being

I know you are beautiful…

in your suffering from abuse

it was wrong and without excuse

if I could turn back time and space

I would go back and prevent

the hurt caused or any

feelings of dimishment  of your

humanity and manhood

for I am sure you are beautiful….

I would exchange hopelessness for hope

nightmares for dreams

fears for courageous love

sense of loss for peace

please know you are not less

then perfect

yes you are beautiful….

you are not alone

you will know you are complete

and whole

someday the glorious

martyr’s crown

but for now,

remain inside the hug

remember you ARE beautiful…©

by beverley hoyles -06 12 –


I
have met far too many people who still suffer from abuse.

From her voice – “The actual pain of the sexual abuse ended when I was eleven; but I still feel an inner pain and distress at 76.”

The trauma of sexual molestation is so horrific and distorts our self-image. Sadly the horrific acts replay like a sadistic recorder over and over. Anxiety, guilt and shame and depletion of energy making you sick. Physical Sickness, depression, self harm and so much more is a recurrent among sexual abuse victims.

Does this sound like little hope? No, Healing is available.

I hope you will continue to read…

In order to reach the level of growth and healing and life you need to not only know but acknowledge the reality of the mess the abuser caused you to be in.  A mess of pain, depression and for some near death. Healing begins when the secret is disclosed and the chains and shackles of silence and inward pain are broken.

I know the hurt has many layers like an onion and  can make you cry – deep calleth unto deep.  I also realize each of us have different coping skills but we don’t have to settle just with coping alone.

I am a believer that there can be an exchange; in reality a miracle. I Know this sounds bizarre to so many. I assure you I am not a weirdo just someone who truly believes in God’s willingness and power to help us.  I also believe Creator God will make a way where the impossible grins at you and where there seems to be absolutely NO Way..

I have experienced this myself.  It is real. I believe in the power of God and God’s word the Bible and that there are keys of passages of scripture that can give us a roadmap/guidance out of the hurt, anger, fear, depression and confusion. I have seen instant miracles but for most its a long journey but God accompanies you every step of the way.

It is possible you will also need professional help; there are some great counselors willing to help you. 

Don’t feel you are alone because I am travelling with you and so is God.

Probably you may have thought God was also the abuser and cannot be trusted. After all, is He not the one who saw what was going on and did nothing about it?  Even though the church has failed us in many aspects there are still many who are compassionate and willing to help us.

Jesus knows what it means to suffer for others’ wrongdoing. It doesn’t seem fair that someone should hurt you so deeply and then leave you wounded by the road as he goes on his merry way through life with no signs of guilt or remorse, no desire to make things right or compensate in some way for your loss of innocence. The abuser did the abuse and sinning, but you have done the suffering.

So when you come to God with the anguish of abuse and your sense of separation from the world and relationships, the creator God  understands.  Draw near, knowing that the caring God is “touched with the feeling of [your] infirmities” -This has calmed me many times…

  • God feels what you feel and is touched by your sense of hopelessness. 

  • God is profoundly impacted by your hurt.

  • God is profoundly impacted by your confusion and depression or whatever you have right now in your life.

  • God mourns with you.

  • God has compassion. You can talk openly and honestly with God.

  • God is angry over the crimes committed against you.

  • God is near the broken hearted. Take heart and take faith.

If you think you do not have faith and desire to have faith; ask God for faith first!

There can be a unique spiritual exchange at Calvary. Jesus takes all your humiliation, pain, emotional turmoil, hatred, failure, in exchange you receive perfection and honor and holiness and life. I firmly believe that on this journey at the place where we would be willing to pass to Jesus all this humiliation; we can receive peace and healing.

Regardless your believe system;I do respect differences; I have found Jesus to be honest, loving and of a great example.

God says; I have loved you with an everlasting love and I will build you up at the pace you are able to handle.  Don’t feel you are alone. God cares about you. How God wants to show you great love.

There are people who do not believe in God nor the power of Jesus blood; For that I am very sad.

Your past may always be a heavy load, but you can lighten that heavy load of baggage by shifting your focus from what happened to you back then to what God is doing or can do in you right now. Abuse is not good, but growing into God’s likeness is good. It is very, very good. 

You are not suddenly gonna lose your memory but the sting will eventually go away.

The next step is to rebuild your self-esteem.

It may sound unbelievable but I can assure you; You can become strong.  Surround yourself with people who believe in you, who value you. You will know they are true friends when they cause you to be better, encouraged and uplifted.

People who have suffered abuse feel completely powerless. Gain new strength and confidence by facing your fears one at a time.

Baby steps. Let God be a part of your healing process.

I firmly believe you will find yourself on the road of forgiveness to thriving…

When God looks at you – God does not see “contaminated or damaged goods.”

God sees a person of value and worth.

You are beautiful.

Allow God’s love to flow into every wound, over your pain and sweeten every thought.

Victims of Self Abuse/harm have to deal with a whole gamut of healing in relation to their present relationships but it is possible.

These are most comforting words for me:

You are the everlasting God

The everlasting God

You do not faint,

You won’t grow weary

You’re the defender of

The Weak

You comfort Those in Need

You lift us up on

Wings like Eagles

What has been stolen from you God wants to restore…..Allow Him to create new thoughts, emotions, feelings, patterns.

God is not against you BUT FOR YOU!  

God loves you with an everlasting love and  will build you up at the pace you are able to handle.

God wants to rebuild your life, to restore, repairing the broken thoughts, renovate our broken dreams and lives.

God understands what you have gone through- When you pass through the waters, God will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

I can assure you that Self-destructive behaviors—alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, promiscuity, poor health habits, negative attitudes, and threats of suicide— fade away as we surrender to God’s help.

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Hugs to You!
Did you know [I’m sure you do] that human contact through hugs lowers blood pressure and reduces stress.

Hugs have also been shown to improve overall mood, increase nerve activity, and a host of other beneficial effects. Positive physical touch has an immediate anti-stress effect, slowing breathing and heart rate.

A good hug speaks directly to your body and soul, making you feel loved and special- in fact –

Hugging is a natural and wonderful medicine; a salve if you will on the sores of your heart and soul.

Begin to see yourself  free from the chains of the abuser …

My next blog will be entitled “Kindness”  I think you will enjoy it..

Check out my website:

MY book “Feet First” Steps to Survival, Forgiveness and Triumph is available at

www.feetfirst-book.com

paperback or kindle edition

or Amazon.com  http://www.amazon.com/Feet-First-Survival-Forgiveness-ebook/dp/B007L4WG9Q/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1340589580&sr=8-1

Amazon.ca  http://www.amazon.ca/Feet-First-Survival-Forgiveness-Triumph/dp/1554527945/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1340589648&sr=8-1-fkmr0

Amazon.co. uk http://www.amazon.co.uk/Feet-First-Survival-Forgiveness-ebook/dp/B007L4WG9Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1340589525&sr=8-1

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