As a kid I heard the saying,

‘What’s down in the well will come up in the bucket’ so with that in mind here is a good proverb…

“Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life”

What’s in the well comes up the bucket!

It’s always a good thing when something bothers you, deal with it that day or it will surely stay in the well. I know this to be true but when I want to speak to the person about the matter I trivialize ‘nah won’t bother’.

My personal attitude is to face change with courage, face disappointment and get on with it, choose happiness get over it, you can do this cause no matter what God loves you.
But what happens when you face disappointment day in day out.

Disappointment is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest. Similar to regret, it differs in that a person feeling regret focuses primarily on the personal choices that contributed to a poor outcome, while a person feeling disappointment focuses on the outcome itself.   It is a source of psychological stress.

After awhile ‘nah I won’t bother’ is a little more difficult because the well is murky.

Sleep is more restless, patience wears a little thin when plans go a muck.
Relationships are strained and tears begin to fall.

To back track for several weeks I have been having a lot of chest pain [to make a long story short of course I’m never short] meant I am wearing a heart monitor these past two weeks.  Going about my daily routine the blooming monitor began to make its recording beep -another unusual reading from my heart. Time and again this would happen it certainly would give a person a heart attack.

Naturally I do not believe I have a heart problem. Me who thinks I’m a doctor and believe she is a physiologist began to ponder.

I was not listening to my own body language. The well water has gone far beyond murky.  It was time to take a peek. Why did I feel so disappointed?

Sudden Lost of a Full time job 3 years ago change in our financial status and lack of overtime hours for my husband and possibly losing our house has brought us to a fork in the road.

Remembering the unbelievable pride and that electric feeling  my book “Feet First” is published April 2011.  I believe it to be a very important book and the accompaniment manual I am presently working on with the submissions of many people around the world is proving to be a very good Resource Manual.

What has happened? No volunteer reviewers for Feet First.  I have read every possible article, blog on Indie writers and their books. Certainly I need a publicist. The quest to be heard has brought me to a fork in the road.

Something simple as a planned family event proved to be a bit daunting.  It too has brought me to a fork in the road.

2012 a paramount year for me; I’ll be 60.  So why am I not happy about that.  The thought of my 60th birthday has consumed my thoughts now for at least 6 months. I attribute 60 with the realization we have no retirement plan or financial package.  Suddenly the illogical wishing we could live in a warm climate on a river boat has brought me to a fork in the road.

So many complicated things have ocurred over several weeks and it has brought me to a fork in the road.

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. – Maya Angelou

Today as I was with my youngest grandbaby watching her tantrums, crying to be heard.  She has had a bad week with a cold, missing mom and dad, cutting her teeth she seemed to be at a crossroads. I let her cry it out for a while then encouraged her to get up in my arms.  She fought me on that one for a few minutes and as I was giving her her bottle she closed her eyes and began to fall asleep  with a background melodic nanny singing. She didn’t want to go in her crib and settle in so I allowed her to nap in my arms for an hour and half.  Not good I know but I thought she needed the consolation.

An hour and a half in almost silence just my humming gave credence to think once again.

Looking down into her beautiful face was simply breathtaking. Listening to the deep sighs a release from her previous episodes of cries was heartbreaking.

No I didn’t have a brain wave and all my problems are solved.  No solutions at this point just an attitude check.

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.  – Arnold Glasow

As much as it pleases God to bless you, there will be moments when everything you try goes up in smoke. There will be moments when the one you counted on most walks away and leaves you groping through blinding tears and wailing questions of why. Plans and goals can be circumvented by the most disappointing of times, leaving you learning the art of patience and the acceptance of a denied request.  T. D. Jakes

Just a Detour

My passion to promote awareness about abuse and ways we can make changes with my book “Feet First” is still valid.  We each can play a part in making a difference in the well being of a child.

Far too many adults are living fractured, separated lives and the multiple complexities that accompany their being. This impacts all our children in the care of the church & community. There isn’t time to mope about but to keep talking, sharing, educating and challenging people on the subject of abuse.

In researching abuse in general or specifics there is clear, scientific evidence shows abuse has long-term physiological, neurological, emotional and developmental impact.

Victimized people commonly develop problems secondary to their abuse, including anxiety and depression.

A survivor of child abuse I will continue to campaign for the advocacy of putting a stop to all forms of abuse. My desire is to be a vessel of honor for God who wishes to speak for those who can’t speak about their traumatic pasts.

Patty  Rase Hopson said, “You Can Shut Me Out…But You Can Not Shut Me Up! I Broke My Silence!”


Abuse changed my life and now I must never forget to continue to fight back.

The well is a little clearer now!

Broken Wings Video!

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