Archives for posts with tag: Feet First

As a kid I heard the saying,

‘What’s down in the well will come up in the bucket’ so with that in mind here is a good proverb…

“Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life”

What’s in the well comes up the bucket!

It’s always a good thing when something bothers you, deal with it that day or it will surely stay in the well. I know this to be true but when I want to speak to the person about the matter I trivialize ‘nah won’t bother’.

My personal attitude is to face change with courage, face disappointment and get on with it, choose happiness get over it, you can do this cause no matter what God loves you.
But what happens when you face disappointment day in day out.

Disappointment is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest. Similar to regret, it differs in that a person feeling regret focuses primarily on the personal choices that contributed to a poor outcome, while a person feeling disappointment focuses on the outcome itself.   It is a source of psychological stress.

After awhile ‘nah I won’t bother’ is a little more difficult because the well is murky.

Sleep is more restless, patience wears a little thin when plans go a muck.
Relationships are strained and tears begin to fall.

To back track for several weeks I have been having a lot of chest pain [to make a long story short of course I’m never short] meant I am wearing a heart monitor these past two weeks.  Going about my daily routine the blooming monitor began to make its recording beep -another unusual reading from my heart. Time and again this would happen it certainly would give a person a heart attack.

Naturally I do not believe I have a heart problem. Me who thinks I’m a doctor and believe she is a physiologist began to ponder.

I was not listening to my own body language. The well water has gone far beyond murky.  It was time to take a peek. Why did I feel so disappointed?

Sudden Lost of a Full time job 3 years ago change in our financial status and lack of overtime hours for my husband and possibly losing our house has brought us to a fork in the road.

Remembering the unbelievable pride and that electric feeling  my book “Feet First” is published April 2011.  I believe it to be a very important book and the accompaniment manual I am presently working on with the submissions of many people around the world is proving to be a very good Resource Manual.

What has happened? No volunteer reviewers for Feet First.  I have read every possible article, blog on Indie writers and their books. Certainly I need a publicist. The quest to be heard has brought me to a fork in the road.

Something simple as a planned family event proved to be a bit daunting.  It too has brought me to a fork in the road.

2012 a paramount year for me; I’ll be 60.  So why am I not happy about that.  The thought of my 60th birthday has consumed my thoughts now for at least 6 months. I attribute 60 with the realization we have no retirement plan or financial package.  Suddenly the illogical wishing we could live in a warm climate on a river boat has brought me to a fork in the road.

So many complicated things have ocurred over several weeks and it has brought me to a fork in the road.

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. – Maya Angelou

Today as I was with my youngest grandbaby watching her tantrums, crying to be heard.  She has had a bad week with a cold, missing mom and dad, cutting her teeth she seemed to be at a crossroads. I let her cry it out for a while then encouraged her to get up in my arms.  She fought me on that one for a few minutes and as I was giving her her bottle she closed her eyes and began to fall asleep  with a background melodic nanny singing. She didn’t want to go in her crib and settle in so I allowed her to nap in my arms for an hour and half.  Not good I know but I thought she needed the consolation.

An hour and a half in almost silence just my humming gave credence to think once again.

Looking down into her beautiful face was simply breathtaking. Listening to the deep sighs a release from her previous episodes of cries was heartbreaking.


No I didn’t have a brain wave and all my problems are solved.  No solutions at this point just an attitude check.

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.  – Arnold Glasow

As much as it pleases God to bless you, there will be moments when everything you try goes up in smoke. There will be moments when the one you counted on most walks away and leaves you groping through blinding tears and wailing questions of why. Plans and goals can be circumvented by the most disappointing of times, leaving you learning the art of patience and the acceptance of a denied request.  T. D. Jakes

Just a Detour

My passion to promote awareness about abuse and ways we can make changes with my book “Feet First” is still valid.  We each can play a part in making a difference in the well being of a child.

Far too many adults are living fractured, separated lives and the multiple complexities that accompany their being. This impacts all our children in the care of the church & community. There isn’t time to mope about but to keep talking, sharing, educating and challenging people on the subject of abuse.

In researching abuse in general or specifics there is clear, scientific evidence shows abuse has long-term physiological, neurological, emotional and developmental impact.

Victimized people commonly develop problems secondary to their abuse, including anxiety and depression.

A survivor of child abuse I will continue to campaign for the advocacy of putting a stop to all forms of abuse. My desire is to be a vessel of honor for God who wishes to speak for those who can’t speak about their traumatic pasts.

Patty  Rase Hopson said, “You Can Shut Me Out…But You Can Not Shut Me Up! I Broke My Silence!”

 

Abuse changed my life and now I must never forget to continue to fight back.

The well is a little clearer now!

Broken Wings Video!

You can purchase my book “Feet First” at Amazon.com or Amazon.ca or Amazon.co.uk

Check my website:  www.feetfirstbook.com

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Song of Sahel

Looking out from my bedroom at our cottage on the lake; It was a beautiful sunny day, blue skies and white fluffy clouds; the making of a poet’s dream.

I could hear the soft musical lap of the water against the shore while the wind teased the wild flowers.

That day I was writing my submission for Song of Sahel (SOS).

Mic Mac Lake

From my Window!


Sahel, a stark contrast to where I was sitting!


Sahel

such a stunning name

the ‘edge’ of the Sahara

the belt of Africa

dry heat, flat terrain

lofty sand dunes

and mountains

land of gold and amber

one thing remains

inveterate drought

famine and urgent need

oh Sahel…

***

Yesterday I was asked for my perspective on my decision to get involved with the Song of Sahel (SOS). I got involved with the Song of Sahel not only as a member of Plum Tree Group but because I felt a deep sense of compassion for the plight of the children in Sahel. I have always had an innate desire to do what I can for children whether they are here in my homeland or in the Sahel.

The present drought and subsequent tragedies in the Sahel requires immediate action to make a difference to a seeming impossibility.

DiAnne Ebejer another member of Plum Tree Group, said that Over 15 million people are directly affected by drought, food shortages and malnutrition. Last year over 600,000 children under the age of five lost their lives here and are facing an even bigger crisis in the coming year.

Dr. Naimh Clune founder and CEO of Plum Tree books placed a call for submissions and join Song of Sahel (SOS); which would raise awareness and the potential to raise funds.

I join with Dr. Naimh Clune in this call To Join Us with your submissions.

Plum Tree Books, a new on-line Internet Publishing Company, sent out this call to artists, poets, musicians, writers and photographers to send in submissions for Song Of Sahel (SOS). Dr. Naimh Clune said, “The project aims to bring creative voices together from across the world to participate in an on-line event hosted on 15th September.”

There is an incredible response of poems, songs, story, photographs, art and music being donated to raise funds and awareness for the crisis facing Sahel.

There is still time – Deadline for Submissions will be August 15, 2012

As Dr.Naimh Clune explained the Song of Sahel, an anthology of poetry, fiction, music, art and photography, will be launched worldwide on September 15, 2012 on Facebook.

The Song of Sahel will be published by Plum Tree Books.

It will be a Multi-Media Kindle and available on Amazon.com

The proceeds of the sales will go to SOS Sahel, an NGO working in the Sahel region of Africa.

On the Plum Tree Dr Naimh Clune has written a compelling blog entitled  “A Song Of Sahel SOS: How Do We Show Solidarity?”

She asked many burning questions. It was rather gripping when I read her words,  ” How do we show solidarity for mothers, too weak in themselves to bury a child. The hungry desert claims tiny carcasses.”

Please go the link below to see all the details written by Dr. Naimh Clune

http://ontheplumtree.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/a-song-of-sahel-sos-calling-for-submissions/

  

Here are some amazing people who have written on the Song of Sahel.

Take a moment to check it out.

Susie Bertie http://sooziebird.blogspot.com

DiAnne Ebejer http://ebbiesplace.blogspot.com

Claudio Fiore http://claudfiore.blogspot.co.uk/

Marla Todd http://vampiremaman.wordpress.com

De Ann Townses Jr. http://deannnative.posterous.com/song-of-sahel-sos-lift-your-voice-in-solidari

Marla Todd http://vampiremaman.wordpress.com

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Thank you for your time today in reading my blog on Sahel!

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Check my website  http://www.feetfirst-book.com/

facebook pages

https://www.facebook.com/beverley.ballhoyles#!/beverley.ballhoyles

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Beverley-Hoyles-Book-Feet-First/156535657739531?ref=hl

Beverley’s Book Feet First is available at all amazon sites.

http://www.amazon.com/Feet-First-Survival-Forgiveness-Triumph/dp/1554527945/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1344440763&sr=8-1&keywords=feet+first+book+beverley+hoyles

Press Release

There are those who have;

those who have not,

those who dream;

those who do not,

those who consume world resources;

those who have nothing,

those who complain about rain;

those who die for rain… …

Plum Tree Books, a new on-line Internet Publishing Company, sent out this call to artists, poets, musicians, writers and photographers to send in submissions for Song Of Sahel (SOS). The project aims to bring creative voices together from across the world to participate in an on-line event hosted on 15th September.

Poems, songs, story, photographs, art and music are being donated to raise funds and awareness for the crisis facing Sahel. These will be published on Amazon in a new, multi-media kindle.

Says spokeswoman and founder of Plum Tree Books, Dr, Niamh Clune, “How do we show solidarity for other human beings confronting starvation, displacement, disease and death? How do we show solidarity for children who will never grow properly, whose bones will be deformed because of malnutrition, whose future will be stolen by starvation, whose budding intelligence will be arrested, nipped in the bud, denied by intervening circumstance?

How do we tell them the world cares, that we are not too wrapped up in our own business to spare a thought for them?

We use our talent.”

Plum Tree Books hopes to raise awareness and contributions from the sales of the anthology, music and art, or through direct donation.

The deadline for submissions is 15th August.

The event will be hosted on 15th September on FaceBook. The complete anthology will be published on Amazon. Proceeds of sales go to SOS Sahel.

“The response has been uplifting,” says Dr. Clune. The poetry, art and music we have received so far is beautiful, the standard inspiring.”

For further information go to  http://ontheplumtree.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/events/455785594445002/
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Thank you for checking out this worthwhile cause!

Clothe Yourself With Kindness

Personally; I believe we are to be kind and compassionate to one another!

Just for one moment how do you truly want people to treat you? Simple! Treat others the way you’d like to be treated.

The win-win game or strategy is designed to benefit all participants.
So according to Beverley [ that’s me 😀 ] it’s like a man or woman or child who is kind to others – but in reality it benefits oneself.  That’s a true win-win. Kindness brings harmony.

Children instinctively know how to be gentle, kind and loving. These two children showing affection without being prompted to do so.

 


Here is a song entitled “kindness” that says it all.

Kindness by Deana Hoyles

You can go to the site to take a listen –  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaIhxy-J7vk

 
Verse 1:
  
How can I
be a light
in the Darkest night?
To touch your heart
and break apart the fear.
And speak words that heal
Instead of words that steal.
Can you hear the cries
of the young eyes?
 
 
Chorus:
 
They’re saying:
Kindness is what we need
Kindness is what we need,
Is what I believe.
Your Kindness
Will bring us, peace.
 
 
Verse 2:
 
What will it take
to undo our mistakes?
To awake and erase
their heartache.
And when will we see
We need to believe
in humanity?
Can you hear the cries
of the young eyes?
 
 
 


Quotes on Kindness:
 

Philip Keller -“KINDNESS involves finding ways to “brighten and cheer” the lives of others”.

Stephen Winward – “Kindness includes sympathy, generosity and benevolence.”

Webster defines kindness as- “Of a sympathetic, forbearing, gentle, pleasant nature.”

The KJ translators translate it –  “gentleness.”

Dr. Paul – “Be kind, to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another…..”

When you show kindness to a stranger, they are surprised. Why? Because in today’s society it is no longer a normal behavior. However I am hopeful that we will see kindness on a more regular basis.

I remember a humorous story I read somewhere [I do not recall where] quite a few months ago..

The Confused Samaritan
A man was beaten up by robbers on a road to London. He lay there, half dead and in bad shape. A Vicar came along, saw him and passed by on the other side. Next, a monk came by but also walked quickly on the other side. Finally, a social worker came along, looked at the man and said “Whoever did this needs help!”


Pay it Forward

How can you pay it forward; rephrased; How can you express Kindness?

1000’s of little ways- one act at a time- really it is – however in all  honesty it is going to cost us something in every little way by our time, our convenience, our labor, our strength, our money, our way.

Very few of us can do great things but we all can do numerous small things with great love.

It most certainly should be a purpose behind your acts of kindness.  Why are you doing random acts of kindness? I’m doing this because God has shown His kindness to me and in my lifetime people has shown kindnesses to me. When people have shown me acts of kindness it encouraged/hurried me on my life’s journey.


More inspirational Quotes

What do the greats have to say about kindness?

“For Attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.”  Sam Levenson

Kind hearts are the gardens,
Kind thoughts are the roots,
Kind words are the flowers,
Kind deeds are the fruits,
Take care of your garden
And keep out the weeds,
Fill it with sunshine
Kind words and kind deeds.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


How to teach your kids kindness
:

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” – Plato

  1. Show them in your own actions; kinda like a model.

  2. Show kindness toward your own kids-Reward your children who show kindness and love acts

  3. Read books on kindness

  4. Pay it forward- join charity groups, benefit events

  5. Show your child how to be a true friend

  6. Speak words that uplift and encourage; negativity is not an option.

  7. Have fun, fun, fun.


Animals Show Kindness

In a Pinch – a story from kids national geographic

The African savanna elephant must have been surprised. He was grazing alone in a swamp, in Kenya’s Masai Mara National Reserve, when a stranger arrived. The stranger was a forest elephant. Forest elephants are smaller and have more rounded ears than savanna elephants do. And they usually stay in the forest.

But this fellow had caught his trunk in a trap. While freeing himself, he’d torn off the tip. “Once the pain stopped, he’d be able to feed on his own,” says wildlife biologist Kayhan Ostovar of Billings, Montana. Until then, he’d need help.

As if to explain, “the injured elephant walked up and stuck his trunk into the healthy elephant’s mouth,” says Ostovar, who witnessed the encounter between the two elephants. And that’s all it took. Elephants often aid members of their herd. But this savanna elephant didn’t care that they weren’t related. He reached down, uprooted a small acacia tree, and stuffed it into his new friend’s mouth.

To see more stories check out  http://kids.nationalgeographic.com


Our Pets/Animals show kindness to our children:


Continue to Show kindness to nature:

Kindness in Marriage

If love is kind and God is love, then God is kind!! Maybe we should allow our hearts to be open to kindness.

Kindness is rare in society and in marriages.  I wonder is that one reason for so many failed marriages.

Admittedly it is easier to be mean and hard and angry when someone does not show love, but the way to overcome [in many cases] is with a reaction of kindness!

I really can’t speak for someone else but for me marriage has to be a priority even over career and activities in this world.

I read a story of a man who committed adultery and wanted to save his marriage. Here is an excerpt.

“At a loss for what to do I sought the advice of another Christian brother. John had committed adultery on his wife several years earlier, and his marriage had made it. When I asked John how long it took his wife to heal from his betrayal, John’s response was short and to the point: “Years.”

My mouth dropped. “Years ???” I said in disbelief. “Years ??? I thought surely you were going to say a few weeks or maybe even months… but… years??!!

“Yes, years” John repeated firmly. “The old marriage you had is dead and you have to build a new one. This is going to take a lot of time and effort on your part; you’ve got to kill her with kindness and win her all over again.”

This story is found at:    http://www.urbanministry.org/bg/brokenmarriage


Final Comments:

Yes People will forget what you said [verbatim] and they may forget what you did for them or the gifts you gave; But people will never forget how you made them feel about themselves and life. Just me thinking….:D

Before I shove off I want to ask a question.

How do you speak to yourself?  Would you speak to others the way you speak to your own thoughts?

Do you criticize, put down or thrash yourself?

  • Give yourself a break.  Be kind to yourself!

  • Start cheering yourself forward.

  • Speak kindly to yourself.

  • Don’t  force yourself to impossible standards.

  • Stop with the harsh judging.

  • Stop comparing yourself to others.

You are Beautiful…Just be your best self…

Who shall separate us from the love of God.  Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

Nothing…..


Endnote:

I usually try to have my blog ready a month in advance of publishing  just in case something comes up and save myself that last minute panic.

I had this blog `Kindness` ready before I started my pilgrimage of sorts followed by a two day vacation.  I have to admit I relearned some things and had many great reminders along the way.

One of which was actually [ put your money where your mouth is ]….I came face to face with my opening statement. Just for one moment how do you truly want people to treat you? Simple!  Treat others the way you’d like to be treated.

My husband and I knew we had to do some physical maintenance underneath our cottage. It was going to be slow and difficult especially in this July heat. A job that required two people to complete and I would be of little use to the situation. Before we even had a chance to think of how to proceed a relative called. He was upset, actually more of a panic and fed up with life. A thirty something  in the throes of life, on the street, no job,no food, no money. He needed a little money. It is so easy to judge and say your old enough, get a grip, get a job, settle down.  He has had so many misfortunes, made so many bad choices and did not have a very good start in life tainted with drugs, neglect and the center of a custody battle. To say the least – he was looking for love ever since that horrible day.

My husband  and I decided to get him to come to the cottage with us.  He could help with repairs , three square meals, a couple of snacks and we would pay him a decent wage for two or three days. Now we don`t have money but if we didn`t sacrifice for this young man who would.

I had this brilliant plan that if we gave him a bit of money in exchange for his time and labor it would help with food and basic necessities for a few days.  That is so true of many people when giving to anyone in need- give them food, shelter that`s enough. For some that is all they can manage and that’s okay. It was a good thing but as we began to talk to him and get up close you see some larger problems. Teeth rotting, one tooth cracked off and causing him great pain.  Eye Glasses held together with wire. Very little undergarments.  His driver’s license will be run out in four days. So do you still want to be kind and generous.

It always cost us something to love and to be kind. It is often painful to step outside of our comfort zone.  Even if our comfort zone is a mere pittance it gradually becomes a place of comfort.  Are we willing after that to help someone in need.  Do we ignore it and pretend the need does not exist.

Generosity without cost I guess isn’t generosity.

Well what happened?  I’m glad you asked.

Gave him a generous wage for 2 days work and encouraged him to renew his drivers license and see if there were any outstanding fines. Of course there were. A $100 renewal became $239.  On his return I gave him the $230 back..he still has the original amount we gave for his labor.  The delight and excitement in his eyes was priceless.

Someone gave a hoot!

Appointment booked for the extraction of tooth number one.

Now let’s see if we can find some financial support to get him through a 16 week trucker’s course.  Helping a person regain their dignity is worth any price.

A most unusual thing happened a few hours later.  We had a problem with our old jalopy.  My hubby brought it to a friend’s garage.  After 2 or 3 hours of electrical work the problem was fixed.
How much do I owe? Said hubby
Nothing sir, my treat!
What would it have cost? I’m glad you asked.
$ 239…

You cannot outdo kindness and generosity.

MY book “Feet First” Steps to Survival, Forgiveness and Triumph is available at

www.feetfirst-book.com

paperback or kindle edition

or Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Feet-First-Survival-Forgiveness-ebook/dp/B007L4WG9Q/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1340589580&sr=8-1

Amazon.ca http://www.amazon.ca/Feet-First-Survival-Forgiveness-Triumph/dp/1554527945/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1340589648&sr=8-1-fkmr0

Amazon.co. uk http://www.amazon.co.uk/Feet-First-Survival-Forgiveness-ebook/dp/B007L4WG9Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1340589525&sr=8-1

I am diverging a little, well a lot, to what I normally write on this blog. My goal is to have a positive and inspirational blog. I hope to have guest bloggers in the near future and highlight inspirational stories. I love the story telling skills of other authors and artists. There is so much negative in the world it is nice to have a positive place.  I try to write things that will allow people to know they are loved, uplifted and encouraged..

Today I will take a moment to mention sexual abuse.  A nasty topic but sadly a reality. With education and action maybe we can abolish this in our lifetime.

What I have to say today can apply to any problem you or I may have. This is not meant to be an in depth study and certainly will not provide all the answers and most likely cause more questions.  But that’s okay as well.

The horror and trauma of sexual abuse is that no matter how severe the physical pain, the mental torment is even worse.

This is a tribute to all Victims of all forms of abuse

in the beginning

God created you

no matter where conceived

you are beautiful…

God created you perfect

but the bloody abuser

tried to ruin you

I believe you are beautiful…

blood mixed in night sweats

self harm of depression

broken wounds linger near

I feel you are beautiful…

deep calleth unto deep

the pain the dark

the misery

I perceive you are beautiful…

confused internal pain

I want to dry your tears

bring you back from despair

I trust you are beautiful…

on behalf of those

who committed heinous actions

I apologize

for all wounds inflicted

punishment within

I validate you as a human being

I know you are beautiful…

in your suffering from abuse

it was wrong and without excuse

if I could turn back time and space

I would go back and prevent

the hurt caused or any

feelings of dimishment  of your

humanity and manhood

for I am sure you are beautiful….

I would exchange hopelessness for hope

nightmares for dreams

fears for courageous love

sense of loss for peace

please know you are not less

then perfect

yes you are beautiful….

you are not alone

you will know you are complete

and whole

someday the glorious

martyr’s crown

but for now,

remain inside the hug

remember you ARE beautiful…©

by beverley hoyles -06 12 –


I
have met far too many people who still suffer from abuse.

From her voice – “The actual pain of the sexual abuse ended when I was eleven; but I still feel an inner pain and distress at 76.”

The trauma of sexual molestation is so horrific and distorts our self-image. Sadly the horrific acts replay like a sadistic recorder over and over. Anxiety, guilt and shame and depletion of energy making you sick. Physical Sickness, depression, self harm and so much more is a recurrent among sexual abuse victims.

Does this sound like little hope? No, Healing is available.

I hope you will continue to read…

In order to reach the level of growth and healing and life you need to not only know but acknowledge the reality of the mess the abuser caused you to be in.  A mess of pain, depression and for some near death. Healing begins when the secret is disclosed and the chains and shackles of silence and inward pain are broken.

I know the hurt has many layers like an onion and  can make you cry – deep calleth unto deep.  I also realize each of us have different coping skills but we don’t have to settle just with coping alone.

I am a believer that there can be an exchange; in reality a miracle. I Know this sounds bizarre to so many. I assure you I am not a weirdo just someone who truly believes in God’s willingness and power to help us.  I also believe Creator God will make a way where the impossible grins at you and where there seems to be absolutely NO Way..

I have experienced this myself.  It is real. I believe in the power of God and God’s word the Bible and that there are keys of passages of scripture that can give us a roadmap/guidance out of the hurt, anger, fear, depression and confusion. I have seen instant miracles but for most its a long journey but God accompanies you every step of the way.

It is possible you will also need professional help; there are some great counselors willing to help you. 

Don’t feel you are alone because I am travelling with you and so is God.

Probably you may have thought God was also the abuser and cannot be trusted. After all, is He not the one who saw what was going on and did nothing about it?  Even though the church has failed us in many aspects there are still many who are compassionate and willing to help us.

Jesus knows what it means to suffer for others’ wrongdoing. It doesn’t seem fair that someone should hurt you so deeply and then leave you wounded by the road as he goes on his merry way through life with no signs of guilt or remorse, no desire to make things right or compensate in some way for your loss of innocence. The abuser did the abuse and sinning, but you have done the suffering.

So when you come to God with the anguish of abuse and your sense of separation from the world and relationships, the creator God  understands.  Draw near, knowing that the caring God is “touched with the feeling of [your] infirmities” -This has calmed me many times…

  • God feels what you feel and is touched by your sense of hopelessness. 

  • God is profoundly impacted by your hurt.

  • God is profoundly impacted by your confusion and depression or whatever you have right now in your life.

  • God mourns with you.

  • God has compassion. You can talk openly and honestly with God.

  • God is angry over the crimes committed against you.

  • God is near the broken hearted. Take heart and take faith.

If you think you do not have faith and desire to have faith; ask God for faith first!

There can be a unique spiritual exchange at Calvary. Jesus takes all your humiliation, pain, emotional turmoil, hatred, failure, in exchange you receive perfection and honor and holiness and life. I firmly believe that on this journey at the place where we would be willing to pass to Jesus all this humiliation; we can receive peace and healing.

Regardless your believe system;I do respect differences; I have found Jesus to be honest, loving and of a great example.

God says; I have loved you with an everlasting love and I will build you up at the pace you are able to handle.  Don’t feel you are alone. God cares about you. How God wants to show you great love.

There are people who do not believe in God nor the power of Jesus blood; For that I am very sad.

Your past may always be a heavy load, but you can lighten that heavy load of baggage by shifting your focus from what happened to you back then to what God is doing or can do in you right now. Abuse is not good, but growing into God’s likeness is good. It is very, very good. 

You are not suddenly gonna lose your memory but the sting will eventually go away.

The next step is to rebuild your self-esteem.

It may sound unbelievable but I can assure you; You can become strong.  Surround yourself with people who believe in you, who value you. You will know they are true friends when they cause you to be better, encouraged and uplifted.

People who have suffered abuse feel completely powerless. Gain new strength and confidence by facing your fears one at a time.

Baby steps. Let God be a part of your healing process.

I firmly believe you will find yourself on the road of forgiveness to thriving…

When God looks at you – God does not see “contaminated or damaged goods.”

God sees a person of value and worth.

You are beautiful.

Allow God’s love to flow into every wound, over your pain and sweeten every thought.

Victims of Self Abuse/harm have to deal with a whole gamut of healing in relation to their present relationships but it is possible.

These are most comforting words for me:

You are the everlasting God

The everlasting God

You do not faint,

You won’t grow weary

You’re the defender of

The Weak

You comfort Those in Need

You lift us up on

Wings like Eagles

What has been stolen from you God wants to restore…..Allow Him to create new thoughts, emotions, feelings, patterns.

God is not against you BUT FOR YOU!  

God loves you with an everlasting love and  will build you up at the pace you are able to handle.

God wants to rebuild your life, to restore, repairing the broken thoughts, renovate our broken dreams and lives.

God understands what you have gone through- When you pass through the waters, God will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

I can assure you that Self-destructive behaviors—alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, promiscuity, poor health habits, negative attitudes, and threats of suicide— fade away as we surrender to God’s help.

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Hugs to You!
Did you know [I’m sure you do] that human contact through hugs lowers blood pressure and reduces stress.

Hugs have also been shown to improve overall mood, increase nerve activity, and a host of other beneficial effects. Positive physical touch has an immediate anti-stress effect, slowing breathing and heart rate.

A good hug speaks directly to your body and soul, making you feel loved and special- in fact –

Hugging is a natural and wonderful medicine; a salve if you will on the sores of your heart and soul.

Begin to see yourself  free from the chains of the abuser …

My next blog will be entitled “Kindness”  I think you will enjoy it..

Check out my website:

MY book “Feet First” Steps to Survival, Forgiveness and Triumph is available at

www.feetfirst-book.com

paperback or kindle edition

or Amazon.com  http://www.amazon.com/Feet-First-Survival-Forgiveness-ebook/dp/B007L4WG9Q/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1340589580&sr=8-1

Amazon.ca  http://www.amazon.ca/Feet-First-Survival-Forgiveness-Triumph/dp/1554527945/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1340589648&sr=8-1-fkmr0

Amazon.co. uk http://www.amazon.co.uk/Feet-First-Survival-Forgiveness-ebook/dp/B007L4WG9Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1340589525&sr=8-1

“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise” (Oscar Wilde)
“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” (Peace Pilgrim)
“The first step toward the solution of any problem is optimism.” (John Baines)

“Every morning, I look in the mirror and say to myself: “This is your day. Don’t let ANYONE take it from you!” (David Deida)

An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; a pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity. —Anon.

What are the effects of Optimism?

Optimism makes us happier. Seeing the positive in each day. Thinking positive thoughts. Seeing the good in others. All have a profound effect on our psyche and overall emotional and psychological being; we naturally feel better about ourselves and others. Practicing this type of thought pattern rewires us from the negative to the positive. Some people want happiness served on a plate while others try to create and make life meaningful for others. “…a happy heart is like a continual feast.” Proverbs 15

Optimism allows us the opportunity to accomplish more. Going forward as an optimist will see beyond the obstacles that others consider impossible to overcome.  This frame of mind allows you to think beyond the present into the zone of creativity; there you will envision ways to triumph over the difficulty. You can’t keep an optimist down. Here is a cautionary thought:  do not allow optimism to take unacceptable risks in business, personal arenas. We must have a measure of common sense about us  and weigh risks.

Optimism improves relationships.  Living a life of optimism provide a charm that makes it so much easier to get along with others. Friends will enjoy their time with you so much more. Be honest it is so much fun being around an optimist and very depressing being around a pessimist.  I admit that I have been a pessimist on many occasions. I would caution however that if we are to be faithful friends and one of our friends struggle with pessimism do not betray them. Hang in there with your optimism and encourage them by example.

Optimism reduces stress. I personally believe our physical body enjoy this optimism; our heart revels in this new found joy. We are healthier and sick less often. It is a stimulant. No need to look for those marijuana fields. I’m not endorsing an extreme high that borders psychotic but a natural pick-me-up. This in turn gives us a different outlook and our world seems so brilliant. The weights are gone and will be reflected in our actions, our overall health improves. It is the most wonderful antidote to depression. This reduction in stress actually stimulates our immune system.

I can speak from personal experience that prolonged pessimism and negative thought patterns will bring you down and it is very difficult to break through that wall. It impedes your motivation, your get-up-and-go nowhere to be found.

This topic is very important for parents, caregivers and grandparents because how we handle situations is imitated in the emotional health of the next generation.

I read about a schoolboy who brought home his report card. It was heavy with poor grades. “What have you to say about this?” Asked his father. “One thing for sure,” the boy replied, “Dad, you can be proud. You know I haven’t been cheating!”

 

Optimism comes from God. “And we know that to them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8: 28)

God did not create us to drown in pessimism, stress and depression. Because of Jesus, the hope that he gives us, we have the assurance that everything will turn out okay, even if things do not appear to be okay right now. This hope that is resident in our soul gives us the assurance that God is going to take care of all the details of our life. We are not helpless and hopeless.

Yes there are struggles and dark places we have to travel that give cause to stumble but we can pick ourselves up and keeping moving on the optimistic road.  Step by step you can do this.  We will still have to face dreadful days  but our learned ability and trust in God will help us in those situations.

Please be encouraged, optimism can be nurtured and learned. You have within you the ability to learn optimism and make major changes in your life. See the possibility, see the potential in your life today.  If at first you don’t succeed try, try again.

I would like to add another caution: these techniques and encouragements will not be enough for people who suffer extreme mental disorders, anxiety disorder, bi-polar, schizophrenia, anger issue and other horrors.  People with these types of issues will require the help of professionals trained in this field with the possibility of medication/s. Mental illness is a war with many casualties. However I do believe the creator God can guide you even in these dark placesBlessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Believe it or not a walk, moments in the sunshine, time of meditation can be very rewarding on a dark journey.

My prayer is that people who suffer these conditions have supportive people in their lives, a compassionate doctor, proper medication in addition to an all knowing God who is walking with them every step of their journey. God’s mercy never ceases.  Remember that people who have such health issues as mentioned above are lovely people of value and contribute to society in their own unique way. We should never be the judge and jury of each other’s journey but encourage. It is noteworthy to mention that people who have suffered thus have given some of the greatest in creative gifts in all of the arts.

Is it possible to have optimism after abuse?
At first the enormity of change is significant.

Maybe your life of abuse brought low self esteem and lack of motivation. So for me to say; see life through positive eyes, seems daunting.  Often a fine line between holding on or letting go for total healing.
There will be bad days but with help; the answer is yes.

 

God wants us to enjoy life not endure life. It is easier to be negative when you get beat down by circumstances of life but God is saying it is only for a season.

A dad asked his son what he would do if he were given a lemon. The son’s reply: “I would make lemonade!”  Perspective, attitude and optimism is very powerful.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. [ I Cor. 10:13]

Be blessed.

Be encouraged.

Enjoy life.

Walk in  sunshine.

Walk with sincerity.

Walk in the magic of creativity.

Walk on, Walk on

With Hope!

 

Joshua chapter 1 stated: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Solomon was right, “For as a man thinks in his heart, so he is…” (Proverbs 23:7). “If you abide in My word, you are my disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John). So, abiding in Christ’s words fills us with His truth. God gives us new thoughts.

 

Some Optimistic Stories:

The Winner’s Edge

Winners seem to be lucky because their positive self-expectancy enables them to better prepared for their opportunities. When asked by a news reporter how she thought she would do in one of her early career swimming meets in the United States several years ago, 14-year-old Australian Shane Gould replied, “I have a feeling there will be a world record today.” She went on to set two world records in the one-hundred- and two-hundred- meter freestyle events. When asked how she thought she would fare in the more testing, grueling, four-hundred-meter event, Shane replied with a smile, “I get stronger every race, and besides … by parents said they’d take me to Disneyland if I win, and we’re leaving tomorrow!” she went to Disneyland with three world records. At 16 she held five world records and became one of the greatest swimmers of all time, winning three gold medals in the 1972 Olympics. She learned early about the power of self-expectancy.

Denis Waitley in The Winner’s Edge (Berkley Books) quoted in Bits & Pieces, March 4, 1993, pp. 13-15.

The Grace Awakening

During his days as president, Thomas Jefferson and a group of companions were traveling across the country on horseback. They came to a river which had left its banks because of a recent downpour. The swollen river had washed the bridge away. Each rider was forced to ford the river on horseback, fighting for his life against the rapid currents. The very real possibility of death threatened each rider, which caused a traveler who was not part of their group to step aside and watch. After several had plunged in and made it to the other side, the stranger asked President Jefferson if he would ferry him across the river. The president agreed without hesitation. The man climbed on, and shortly thereafter the two of them made it safely to the other side.

As the stranger slid off the back of the saddle onto dry ground, one in the group asked him, “Tell me, why did you select the president to ask this favor of?”

The man was shocked, admitting he had no idea it was the president who had helped him. “All I know,” he said, “Is that on some of your faces was written the answer ‘No,’ and on some of them was the answer ‘yes.’ His was a ‘Yes’ face.”

C. Swindoll, The Grace Awakening, Word, 1990, p. 6.

 

Practical Joke on  Grandpa

Sometimes we probably feel like the man whose grandchildren played a practical joke on. Each afternoon Grandpa would lie down for a nap. One day the kids decided to put Limburger cheese in his mustache. Quite soon afterward he awoke sniffing. “This room stinks,” he exclaimed as he got up and went out into the kitchen. He wasn’t there long before he declared, “this kitchen stinks too.” He decided to walk outdoors for a breath of fresh air. Much to Grandpa’s surprise, the open air brought no relief, and he proclaimed, “The whole world stinks!” The truth was it was grandpa who stunk. The problem was right under his nose. Do we go around, thinking everything around us stinks when in fact it’s not everything around us, but our attitude that stinks?

Chuck Swindoll in, Strengthening your grip, wrote, “Words can never adequately convey the incredible impact of our attitude toward life. The longer I live the more convinced I become that life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it. I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitude is right, there’s no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me.”

Let’s get Optimistic.

Let’s chose to be positive about life.

Let’s be positive toward God, others and ourselves.

Beverley’s book “Feet First” is available now

                                                                                                                      www.feetfirst-book.com

LOVE

What is love?  The short list.

  • emotion
  • affection
  • affirmation
  • virtue representing human kindness, compassion
  • actions toward others
  • compassionate
  • consideration
  • communication
  • forgiveness
  • gateway
  • gracious
  • sacrifice
  • honor
  • laughter
  • pay it forward
  • personal attachment
  • present- in the moment
  • respect
  • sexual
  • not envious
  • not abusive
  • not angry
  • not selfish
  • not hurtful
  • not compromising

 

Here are a few quotes highlighting love:

Jonathan Edwards said, “Love is the sum of all virtue, and love disposes us to good.”

Mother Teresa said, “The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.”

“If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered.” – Proverbs

The strength of love is shown in great things; the tenderness of love in little things.”  Robert C. Chapman

Today I want to be  a prompt and a reminder that love and appreciation is very important. It is true our feelings come and go and we oft’ become disoriented in life. Anytime we are side tracked we can find our way back by looking at the perfect example of God’s love.  He invented love.  

Like a lot of other things, love can be enjoyed or abused. Casual or appreciated. Genuine love is an unconditional, sacrificial, kind, caring, faithful, expressive, mature, compassionate, respectful, lifelong commitment. If we say we are Christian and do not love then we do not know truth but have become a liar.

Love is not supposed to be painful. A lot of people misrepresent the Bible and say we have to be obedient to husbands at any cost. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that. Peter did say that wives should respect the authority of their husbands in order to promote harmony within the family; as well as to submit to one another in mutual respect. What the Bible is not suggesting is for wives to become doormats nor feel inferior. If you are an abusive person, please seek help now. Don’t wait until you’ve made a terrible mistake that you will never be able to correct. If you are being abused, please talk to someone you can trust, whether it be a family member, a counselor, a friend, a pastor, a teacher or a doctor. Don’t delay.

Love should be at the forefront of everything that you and I do. Without love, our speaking and doing is noise! Let’s focus on kindness and goodness .

I encourage you to work on your relationships. My prayer for you is a complete, safe and happy relationship.

This week take time to read the entire book of the Song of Solomon.[check the end of this blog to direct you the site] The focus of Song of Solomon/Songs is not progeny but of passion. “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine.”

Do you still get the butterflies when you think of your love? Romantic and sexual  love is an incredible gift from God so don’t give it to just anyone and it will be a wonderful, worthwhile adventure.

You are free to believe as you wish but for me I follow God’s word, the Bible. God wants us to be blessed in love within the context of the marriage. I believe God wants to us to wait for marriage to express sexual love.

At an early age; I envisioned being in a marriage relationship, where there is no shame or bashfulness. You can express every physical desire and have a deep, expressive, loving, wonderful relationship. Ahh  here you can share your hearts, your dreams, your goals, your strengths, your weaknesses, your present, your futures, and your bodies together and without shame!

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. [Romans 12:1-2]

I hope you make time to have a love relationship with your partner, family and with God.

His Rose

A rose
Pink yellow white red or blue
Reminds me of you
Gently takes the thorn
From my skin
Silk and scent
Takes me to the place
Where we spent
Love’s first passionate kiss
Perfection
Is your silhouette
My love is greater
Than ten thousand red
Not a blast of hurry
Stayed on love and bliss
Set free
Unending love forever mine
Like the petals fold
My heart in thankful prayer
Inhale again aroma sweet
Your beauty smile and living
In celebration
Nothing says
I love you
Like His single rose of June
-Beverley Hoyles

Beverley is the author of Feet First: Steps to Survival, Forgiveness & Triumph

To purchase -Check out my website:  www.feetfirst-book.com

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Beverley-Hoyles-Book-Feet-First/156535657739531

Endnotes:

Here are two sites I believe would help you.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=song%20of%20Solomon%201-9&version=MSG

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+13&version=NIV

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