Archives for posts with tag: Mental health

 

 

golden-rule

In a world of adversity, division at its extreme, despair and death; I know I need to learn how to bond and work together so I/we can help more people.

I don’t want to just sit around, moan and groan.

I’m sure I can be outspoken yet tender-hearted and insightful or the very least – willing to learn.

  • Personally I absolutely feel we have to continue to SHOW deep love for each other
  • Cheerfully share y/our home with those who need a meal or a place to stay
  • Use the creative, gifting, heart, strengths to impact the world around you

Coach Vince Lombardi on making a winning team. Lombardi said, “There are a lot of coaches with good ball clubs who know the fundamentals and have plenty of discipline but still don’t win the game. Then you come to the third ingredient: if you’re going to play together as a team, you’ve got to care for one another. You’ve got to love each other. Each player has to be thinking about the next guy. You’ve got to do your job well in order that he can do his. The difference between mediocrity and greatness is the feeling these guys have for each other.”

SPORTS, BUSINESS, CHURCH, EDUCATION, CHARITY, GOVERNMENT, CITY, NATION, COUNTRY – every team must care.

Not just to care But Love not just to love But Show Love.

Love is not an abstract idea. Love must be manifested.

True love is not just something you feel – it’s something you demonstrate!

 

  • Marriages have problems when partners don’t show love to one another. A husband and wife may love each other deeply but have a miserable marriage because they don’t know how to show their love for one another.
  • You can’t raise kids properly without showing them love.
  • You can’t have true, lasting, satisfying friendships if your friends can’t tell that you love them.
  • You can’t experience relationships in the community or in your church family without showing and receiving love.

 

Some people find it rather easy to show love. It’s natural as breathing.

Others find it difficult – in fact they feel uncomfortable – simply because of your upbringing.

So HOW do we show love to others.

Treat others just as you want to be treated -The Golden Rule

This is basic.  How do I want to be treated?

 IN no particular order:

  • Listen to me when I talk
  • Show Love to me
  • Forgive me
  • Try Understanding me
  • Give me a Second chance
  • Respect me
  • Think about me
  • Be in the moment/ engaging
  • Relax with me
  • Meet some of my needs
  • Be patient with me
  • Be kind to me
  • Be Faithful to me
  • Do right by me
  • Remember with me
  • Include me in Making memories
  • Honor me
  • Be genuine with me
  • Appreciate me

Oh Dear

Sounds needy

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.

It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Wow

But in reality we are all fragile, delicate, sensitive and utterly in need of love.

Thanks for stopping by……Beverley

I’m sure you have seen this video but before you leave check it out again thanks……Have a wonderful week.

guilty-conscience

In my opinion;
Some of the most popular literature in the world is found in the book of Psalms; the songbook of Israel which most were set to music.

I am only one of millions who love Psalm 23,The Lord is my Shepherd, Psalm 90, the oldest Psalm, written by Moses, Psalm 46, a favorite read at funerals, God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Post adultery Psalm 51.

Have you ever had trouble- trying to silence a guilty conscience?

Guilt in the back of our minds can drive us nuts.

Many people try all sorts of ways to deal with the terrible feelings of guilt and the low self-esteem that inevitably comes after they’ve messed up.

Some people try to Deny it or make excuses or they try to ignore it

OR you can Deaden your guilt, by eating, drinking, inhaling, or injecting something to make the pain go away.

Sometimes people try to compensate by doing something good -Guilt is a powerful motivator.

It’s not unusual for people to goof up and be stupid or be unwise or get loss in the moment and make a mistake or get lazy let down their guard and commit a sin.

When we do something wrong, you or I can try to cover it up or fess up.

Because I have friends who have suffered the after effects of adultery I often think of the story of King David and his adultery with Bathsheba.

David wrote Psalm 51 after his sin of adultery right after being found out his attempt to cover up didn’t work.

So here’s the true story: David is lazing around in the palace when he should have been at work with his armies [fighting the Ammonites] with too much time on his hands and happens to see a woman taking a bath, and instantly lust takes hold, and he tells his servant, bring her to me. Bathsheba of course, being the wife of Uriah One of the highest ranking men who helped him win many victories…

And wouldn’t you know that after this little affair Bathsheba gets pregnant and the great cover up begins. He brings Uriah home from the war, and try’s several times to get him to sleep with Bathsheba, but being an honorable soldier – he won’t.

Since that didn’t work David put Uriah in front of a battle to get him killed – The plan works, Uriah dies.

David immediately marries Bathsheba.

I wonder, did David have a guilty conscience? I believe the creator was displeased with David’s actions.

I often wonder what 8 months of Bathsheba’s pregnancy were like. Was she suspicious of David, what were his thoughts.

I think he was gonna try to deal with it by not dealing with it.

Ignore it.

But creator God is not gonna let him forget it.

Enter; God’s prophet Nathan came to confront him.

 

What has history told us what David said; “I have sinned against the Lord!”

 Heart

Even if you aren’t a Bible believing person Psalm 51- a psalm of David is amazing.

Psalm 51

1  Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
    and justified when you judge.
Surely I was sinful at birth,
    sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
    you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me

 

I guess what I am saying is that the Only way to deal with a guilty conscience – ADMIT.

 

We are responsible for our own lives and It does no good to blame other people, or blame my circumstances.

Edgar Allen Poe’s story, “The Telltale Heart”?

In that story, the main character has committed murder and he buries the body under floorboards in his house. But the murderer can’t escape the guilt of his deed.

He begins to hear the heartbeat of his dead victim. A cold sweat pours over him as that heartbeat goes on and on, relentlessly, getting louder and louder.

Finally the noise in his head is driving him crazy, he can’t take it anymore, he’s sure everyone else must hear it too, and they’re just taunting him by ignoring, it, just playing with him. And so finally in a fit of desperation, he confesses everything and shows policemen the body.

I would be stupid to think that our/my actions doesn’t hurt others. For me personally because of my commitment I have to make it right with the creator before I can make it right with my family or neighbor.

Guilt is good if we allow it to guide us to better decisions.

Dr. Brand who spent much of his life in India working with leprosy patients made a major discovery – Because of the lack of pain they were constantly injuring themselves which would result in amputation.

Guilt is just as important to our lives as pain and it is a warning sign that helps us know that something needs to change.

There are bad choices, mistakes, neglects that are not sins, but may require forgiveness.  But there are things I choose to believe are sin. We are caught in a web -in a mess, sin, stupidity – we need mercy and grace – well I do.

Mercy to escape the bad, and grace to be given the goodness of forgiveness and freedom to go forward.

Forgiveness does not come cheaply neither physically, emotionally nor spiritually. (Someone pays)

For the psalmist David he understood this –  in his day they dipped hyssop in the blood of sacrificed animals and applied to the altar or doorposts over the house.

As I follow the teachings of Christ – it is inherent in his teachings that if we ( I ) sin it is paid by his shed blood. My relationship with my creator allows a Higher accountability for my thoughts, words and actions.

In the case of adultery blood spills because the lifeblood of the relationship dies.

Rarely, it is recovered through forgiveness.

It’s that powerful force of love That gives us forgiveness, mercy and grace.

The psalmist said Create in me a pure heart, O God, renew a steadfast spirit within me. Restore unto me the joy. We all need strength and power to keep us on tract and stay away from that which caused us guilt in the first place.

What’s the use of guilt alone – but “I’m sorry” “I repent” and I want to make a change is necessary.

A change of heart.
A change of mind.
and A change of direction.

Such contrition removes guilt AND joy replaces inner anguish.

Truly each of us is in charge of our lives and choices and we are often challenged by them.

However, it is important to note that whatever we do there are ripple effects.

Don’t get me wrong; we will make mistakes, but whatever happens in your life – Admit and Go Forward.

I know it’s been a serious tone tonight on my blog, but do come back.

Stay Kind Hearted!
Stay Safe!

 

Thanks for reading my blog.

con_01

 

 

 

flight_of_freedom_bald_eagle-normal

 

 

Are you Positive or Negative?
heart 13 p_edited b_edited-1

Check your spirit’s temperature.

  • Negative thoughts are caused by the inner debate about self-esteem, security, money, people, life in general
  • Negative feelings can go from anger, frustration, irritability, to even anxiety and depression
  • Negativity breeds more negativity and goes on a witch hunt for more to collect to the end of your imprisonment
  • Constant hammering thoughts about others and yourself day by day WILL take its toll and you could lose yourself
  • It’s a waste of time- not one single benefit of thinking negatively – SO THINK POSITIVE
  • Be aware of your thoughts and think why
  • Make a list of things about yourself to make changes; go on you can do it
  • Find a path to forgiveness of the past or it will kill your present
  • Negativity produces toxic waste in our emotions, body, psyche and spirit
  • Stop and consider your thoughts and stop the negativity. Practice making that change.
  •  Surround yourself with positive people and positive situations.
  • You don’t have to be negative because someone else is living a negative vibe.
  • Watch your perspective/attitude
  • Be kind
  • Look for the Positive
  • Go for a walk or run to release the brain chemicals to enhance an overall good feeling
  • Meditate
  • Relax
  • Have a gratitude Spirit
  • Banish Self Pity
  • You deserve the best life; see what great qualities you have and nurture them

I will go so far as to say that negativity and negative thoughts can be  dangerous to your health!

Toxic Waste

Prisoner
of unwanted thoughts,
identified
trauma and perspiration
perpetuation
questions and visions
what ifs?
why not?
how come?
why?
ralley to threaten
disturbing
intrusive
trance rapid
movement
repettitive
irritating
uncomfortable
intense head pain,
negativity
eminating
enemy within
tentataclous spectrum
tantalizing
trouble
trouble,
tell tale
i will let you down
again
and make you cry,
alone
desperate
surrender,
activate,
initiating
auto-self-destruct
and counting
10, 9, 8 ….

Beverleyhoyles
March 22, 2013

My prayer for you is for a new spirit of vitality and more positivity.  May you feel liberated unto Joy!

positive
Thanks for reading my bLoG!

ATTITUDE

With the help of Wikipedia:
An attitude is a favorable or an unfavorable evaluation of something. Attitudes are generally positive or negative views of a person, place, thing, or event— this is often referred to as the attitude object. People can also be conflicted or ambivalent toward an object, meaning that they simultaneously possess both positive and negative attitudes toward the item in question.

What we think is as important as what we do

Not only are words and action important by law, relational, emotional etc, but so are y/our thoughts. We are taught that holding a grudge or wishing someone harm is just as bad as hurting them. This is because what we think inspires what we do. Negative self-talk can have devastating effects on y/our selfesteem as well.

Matthew another cool guy, made a very important point – But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the person. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

Clearly y/our attitude is much deeper than just a few thoughts you might think or not think. Your attitude comes out of the core of your being. Y/our attitude represents y/our disposition, y/our outlook, y/our very character.  So I gues we better make sure that what is in y/our heart are good things hey.

Attitude

We can choose what attitude we will embrace for today.

I recently met a 78 year old man who was quite upset about a decision made by government that affected him. It wasn’t long before he ranted and raved about his hatred for different ethnic peoples using threats and words of violence and potential death threats. Suffice it to say I was perturbed, appalled by such blatant display of hatred. My mind was reeling from the exposure of hatred. It took some time for to become calm again and detox my mind and turn towards a more positive attitude.

Some people think that the whole world stinks. Once a cranky grandpa laid down to take a nap. To have a little fun, his grandson put some limburger cheese on his mustache, right under his nose. Grandpa awoke with a snort, staggered out of the bedroom and shouted, “This room stinks!” On through the house he went, shouting louder, “This whole house stinks!” He charged out on the porch and shouted as loud as he could, “The whole world stinks!” The truth is, it was grandpa who stunk. The problem was right under his own nose.
“We are a culture that relies on technology over community, a society in which spoken and written words are cheap, easy to come by, and excessive. Our culture says anything goes; fear of God is almost unheard of. We are slow to listen, quick to speak, and quick to become angry.”
— Francis Chan (Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God)

With that quote in mind; attitude and subsequent actions are so very important.

attitudequote

Positive and Grateful attitude can determine how you live your life.

A Proverb “For as a man thinks in his heart, so he is…”
What a difference your attitude makes! Your attitude affects every relationship in your life. And sometimes relationships will never get started in the first place — because many times your attitude has built up walls… making it difficult for people to be around you.

Tips to a Good Attitude!

• Be calm – Meditate/ calm your thoughts
• Believe the best about everyone
• Be a-Warm-Smiling -Smile
• Be thankful
• Be happy – think happy thoughts
• Be Kind – Don’t Gossip
• Be Positive – any old fish can be negative. Helps self esteem

Is it possible that attitude can:
• MAKE OR BREAK YOU
• HEAL OR HURT YOU
• MAKE YOU FRIENDS OR MAKE YOU ENEMIES
• MAKE YOU HAPPY OR MAKE YOU MISERABLE
• MAKE YOU A SUCCESS OR MAKE YOU A FAILURE

attitude (2)

by: Charles Swindoll

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude… I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you/I… we are in charge of our attitudes.

Check this website
http://drjamesdobson.org/Solid-Answers/Answers?a=63dc2a64-a70a-43f1-8d5a-cc43c8e77abc

Another Story

The story is told of a wonderful, elderly lady. She had very little money and lived in a rundown house, but she was always praising the God. Her only problem was with the old man who lived next door. He was always trying to prove to her that there was no God. One day, as the old man was walking by her house, he noticed the woman through an open window. She was kneeling down in prayer, so he crept over to the window to see if he could hear. She was praying, ” God, you’ve always given me what I’ve needed.” She prayed. “And now you know that I don’t have any money, and I’m completely out of groceries, and I won’t get another check for a week.” She continued, “somehow, Lord, can you get me some groceries.” The man had heard all he needed. He crept away from the window and ran down to the grocery store. He bought milk, bread, and lunch meat. He ran back to the woman’s house carrying the groceries. He set the bag down on by her door, rang the doorbell, and hid beside of the house. You can imagine how the woman reacted to seeing the bag of groceries. She threw her hands over head and began praising God.  “Thank you,” she shouted. “I was without food and you provided the groceries.” About that time the old man jumped out and said, “I’ve got you now.” She was too busy shouting thank yous to pay any attention. “I told you there was no God,” the old man said, ” it wasn’t God who gave you those groceries it was me.” “Oh no,” the woman said. “God got me these goroceries and made the devil pay for them.” She had the right attitude for God albeit a little strange toward her neighbor.

That’s what friends are for – it may sound too idyllic…but we should aspire to be good friends..that is a part of a good attitude.

Song “That’s What Freinds for Sure”

Alexander Tsiaras: Conception to birth — visualized

As much as you think you are alone so often; I beg to differ!

*

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands

I have a Father
He calls me His own
He’ll never leave me
No matter where I go

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call
*

*
Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning
Who told the ocean you an only come this far?
Who showed the moon where to hide ’til evening
Whose words alone can catch a falling star?

Well I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
All of creation testify
This life within me cries
I know my Redeemer lives

The very same God that spins things in orbit
He runs to the weary, the worn and the weak
And the same gentle hands that hold me when I’m broken
They conquered death to bring me victory

Now I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redemer lives
Let all creation testify
Let this life wihtin me cry
I know my Redeemer, He lives

To take away my shame
And He lives forever I’ll proclaim
That the payment for my sin
Was the precious life He gave
But now He’s alive
And there’s an empty grave.

And I know my Redeemer, He lives
I know my Redeemer lives
Let all creation testify
This life within me cries
I know my Redeemer lives

Thanks for Reading my bLoG!

The photos in this post are not mine…

Day 24 of my 30 Day Thankfulness Challenge; I am thankful for Laughter .  😀

Laughter is actually a very strong medicine for our mind and body and soul.

Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Laughter IS life’s shock-absorber. If you want to have less stress in your life, learn to laugh at your circumstances.

Somehow, you must find  something fun to do in spite of the frustration.  Focus on something else to do.

F

Isn’t a good laugh just what the doctor ordered;  Nothing works faster or more dependable to bring your mind, body, soul and emotions back into that wonderful balance.

Humor lightens the load. Humor can transform our frame of thought and inspire us.

Humor has a connection that can ignite our focus and has a way of keeping us grounded, focused and alert and cheerful.

Humor like love is a beautiful cloak that surrounds our problems, enhancing your relationships, and supporting both physical and emotional health.

Simply put; Laughter is good for your health

  • Laughter relaxes the whole body.
  • Laughter clears the mind.
  • Laughter protects the heart. Increases blood flow
  • Laughter triggers the release of happy endorphins.
  • Laughter boosts the immune system.
  • Laughter heals relationships
  • Laughter lengthens your life


Pertinent Quotes:

Proverbs says, “A relaxed attitude lengthens a man’s life.”

“Your sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that your daily mood and emotional state support good health.”  ~ Paul E. McGhee, Ph.D.

Man appears for a little while to laugh and weep, to work and play, and then to go to make room for those who shall follow him in the never-ending cycle. A. W. Tozer

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs

THanks for ReAdInG my Blog!

Have a Fun-Filled Day!

I was invited to participate in a world blog tour and in turn nominate 5 others but alas I did not meet the time frame but I thought I would do the blog anyway.

At first when I thought about the opening portion of the blog my mind began to whirl around the words ‘writer’ and ‘the written word’.

J. B. Priestly says, “Perhaps it would be better not to be a writer, but if you must, then write. If it all feels helpless, if that famous ‘inspiration’ will not come, write. If you are a genius, you’ll make your own rules, but if not—and the odds are against it—go to your desk, no matter what your mood, face the  challenge of the paper—write.

That’s good advice but I don’t want mindless drivel. I seriously would like to fill the page with the breathings, the battles and the bliss of my heart and soul.  Not just words but phrases that would illuminate not to deceive nor depress. I admit sometimes ‘to illuminate and encourage’ one must show the dark side of things or go to a place in the past.

The ‘written  word’ is perhaps  the most influential, the most important, most dynamic of all time. Naturally we cannot depend upon our limited human memory.  I can forget a thought from one side of the room to the other. The written word can be a timeless record whether it is bad or great writing preserved for generations way off into the future.

These words can provide food for the mind, for the soul, for understanding, and for awareness.  It is unbelievable that we can put our words together and placed in a timeless Zone.

William Hazzlitt says, “The more a man writes, the more he can write.”

 

I believe the elitist writers of our time will concur that writing is a distinct durable and transmittable way to convey your thoughts. I believe they will also concur that it is very important to set the standard high to have skilled writers.  It is there that sometimes I fall short many times but I will not give up.

Personally I have always written for a cause.  I realize many write for the sheer enjoyment, a mythology muse and a variety of other reasons.

Initially at a naive age I felt a desire to write but chose to remain silent.  There is a price to pay for silence in writing as well as disclosure of abuse. Methinks the majority of health issue fall into this category of silence.

“God wants you to be delivered from what you have done and from what has been done to you – Both are equally important to God.”  Joyce Meyer, Beauty for Ashes

 

Surprisingly with my limited experience I found a profound, inspiring, freeing connection between writing and healing.

The written word, my words became a catharsis at first because I broke the silence and vented. However the experience of the written word began to allow me the opportunity to reduce my stress and depression.

Through the experience of the written word something had occurred but I had no professional scientific comparison. Not only did I begin to understand other people but my own essence opened up as a fountain. Something more began to happen when I wrote only ‘negatively’ the fountain did not flow the same.  However when I expressed both negative and positive in words something truly magical happened. I literally felt better on the inside and it expressed openly in my demeanor and actions.

The fountain of passion changed; I not only wanted to help me to true life and living but I wanted to help others.  Now it felt possible.

A writer has to figure it out on their own many times but I feel it is not enough to disclose abuse though monstrous as it is.  Disclosure is important for our emotional health but that in itself is not enough. We have to face and examine the past and understand the abuse and realize the child isn’t to blame. From there begin to understand our hurt and pain and give credence to the pain we can actually begin to understand the polars of pain.

The next step is finding the path to forgiveness and allow ourselves to learn; it actually will boost our physical well being. So it is the words of negative and positive allows for a healthy well being.

It is the words that are penned; the indescribable and overwhelming to become describable and less overbearing. The words gave freedom.

A survivor of child abuse I will continue to campaign for the advocacy of putting a stop to all forms of abuse. My desire is to be a vessel of honor for God who wishes to speak for those who can’t speak about their traumatic pasts. I Put Creator God First and Know God’s power can help us. 

Q & A   Part 1 

About My Recent Released Book “Feet First”
Cover has a direct link to Amazon for purchase.


What is the title of your book?

Feet First: Steps to Survival, Forgiveness & Triumph

What genre does your book fall under?

Honestly I am still having difficulty with that question however here is the long list.

Religious & InSpiritual

Non Fiction

Abuse & Social Issues

Survival

Autobiography/Memoirs

Feet First by Beverley Hoyles available here!

More Q & A to come:

Laura~LME

@LauraLME ~ @VersesInMotion ~ @VIMMedia ~ @DigitalDotWorld

Not Banjaxed...Yet

give it time

poetry and then some

DiAnne's Scribbles

Vampire Maman

Musings of a Modern Vampire Mom

To Be Aware

It's all about disbelieving your thoughts

Joe Quatrone, Jr.

Sermons and Devotions

Humanity777's Blog

The Church of Christ

the secret keeper

“I hate endings. Just detest them. Beginnings are definitely the most exciting, middles are perplexing and endings are a disaster. . . . The temptation towards resolution, towards wrapping up the package, seems to me a terrible trap. Why not be more honest with the moment? The most authentic endings are the ones which are already revolving towards another beginning. That’s genius.” ― Sam Shepard

A DEVOTED LIFE

Practical Daily Devotions for the Real World

the Thought Palette

sharing my creative journey with you

JD Stockholm.

Dear Teddy

The Journey

... following His lead

Steven Atwood

Aspiring Author of Christian Fiction

surviving sexual abuse

child sexual abuse victims and survivors

Shirani Rajapakse

Poet. Author.

Hugs and Chocolate

Inspiration, information, and motivation

Wendy Reis Editing (Blog)

Striving for excellence in the written word.

GYA today

Give Yourself Away

The Sunset Blog

Inspirational sunset & nature photos by Psychic healer Eva Tenter

aprilthomasbooks

Just another WordPress.com site

Dr Niamh On The Plum Tree

Childhood Imagination Sows Seeds of Future Brilliance

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.